What goes ha ha bonk?
Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why's that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.
Did you hear about the well-behaved little boy? Whenever he was good, his dad gave him 10p and a pat on the head. By the time he was sixteen, he had £786 and a flat head.
(That one caused Spencer some considerable comic distress...)
BARBER: How would you like it, sir?
MAN: Could you cut it very short on one side and not at all on the other, with a sort of crooked fringe at the front and big tufts pulled out at the back?
BARBER: Oh dear I don't think I can manage that, sir.
MAN: Why not? You did last time.
(That one caused everyone considerable comic distress...)
 |
| The actual Rosetta Stone |
What's green lives in a field and has 4,000 legs?
Grass--it was a mistake about the legs.
How do you know when there's an elephant under your bed?
Your nose touches the ceiling.
Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
Because if he was small, white and round he'd be an aspirin.
(This joke injured Mum.)
